JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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