My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
