I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
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