How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
