you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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