This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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