I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Randomize