I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
