YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
