I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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