So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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