I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Shame - the story of my life.
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