well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
