Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
