i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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