Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
