from now on my penis is your penis
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
