in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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