So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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