So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
