so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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