Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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