Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
