sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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