I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
