Fuck appropriateness.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
this is an emotional support booty call
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
