I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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