it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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