i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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