Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
