O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
