Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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