i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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