she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
