just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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