I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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