well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
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You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
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Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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