you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
