That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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