Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
