I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
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He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
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I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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