He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
