Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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