I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
