Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
