these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
