Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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