I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
