Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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