I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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