I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
