Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
