no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
