I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
