We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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