I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
