Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
