i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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