My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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