End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
