I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
